(Source: bitchbeachbitch, via fuckyeahnutella)

Okay, bitches 

Faber, out.

Catch me on facebook if ya want, and tell my boyfriend I fucking miss him if he decides to show his gorgeous face around here.

• Black guy getting off train to black girl: Watch out for the white people.

• Guy yelling, wearing dress shirt and slacks: I'm looking to kill about 14 or 15 vampires today. If anyone could help me out and point me in the direction of a vampire lair, I could probably kill 8 or 9 there. Thank you.

• 40-something on cell: So I've been having a problem recently. I use my phone as my alarm clock and every single morning when it goes off I look at my phone and it says "snooze" or "dismiss," but because I'm half asleep I always think "snooze" is "snooki" and I get really confused. So every morning I stare at my phone, and I'm barely awake, and I think, "how are my options snooki or dismiss?" What's going on? And sometimes I actually hit dismiss because I figure "snooki" can't possibly be the right answer. I don't know what's going on with me, but I blame it entirely on you.

(Source: thyagoresende)

(Source: brokendeck)

(Source: thats-cuntastic)

(via schmidtbelt)